Here be Dragons!
Riiiighttt I am really lost for inspiration at this point in time, at least pc-game wise, so I am going to tell you all a little story about a Dragon. Yes... gather around... huddle a little bit closer... that's it, yes. Too bad my audience consists of only three humans, but that's what I get for telling stories on the North Pole. Once upon a time, in a land far and away, there lived a Dragon. Now, this was not just any dragon, no, this was a female yellow-polka-dotted dragon. No, she didn't wear a bikini. No, the bikini wasn't tiny either. Now SHUT THE F*CK UP OK? It's MY story and I'll tell it the way it's supposed to be told. AND NO BEACHES OR WATER EITHER. DRAGONS DO NOT COME OUT OF THE WATER! AAARGHH!
*sounds of a Polar Bear going berserk*
Now, where was I? Oh yes, a yellow-polka-dotted dragon. Now this dragon, despite his odd coloration, was a very brave dragon. You see, in those days, dragons all worked for their money. They flew people around for a fee, and earned cash that way. Nowadays the few remaining dragons sit on their hoards and pick their teeth with this or that magical sword or lance, but in those days, dragons were still a polite bunch. No, the dragons flew people around and earned their money the hard way. Common practice was to charge people per flight, and to offer refreshments during that flight for an extra price. Want roasted pidgeon? We take a detour and roast a pidgeon. Want a shower? We'll fly through those rainclouds over there. No problemo, just pay a little bit extra. But the thing was, humans had just about invented the horse and the wheel, and this was a lot cheaper than dragon-borne transport. Of course, at first the dragons just scoffed at the idea of carts and horses, but a few enterpreneurish humans soon discovered that while one cart might not do the trick, a whole column of carts was very handy to transport non-degredable goods. So gradually the dragons ended up without buisness. At that point, a lot of the dragons emigrated to other parts of the solar system. But not the yellow-polka-dotted dragon. She decided that he liked his home, and earth, and so she came up with The Plan.
The Plan consisted of a vague contraption which would...
damn this story is really going nowhere kids sorry. *presses rewind* Now where was I?
Once upon a time, in a land far and away, there was this yellow-polka-dotted female dragon with a nice, hum, great rack, and she liked to swim in the sea. Obviously, dragons are all good swimmers, and this one in particular liked tropical beaches. Now, as you may all know, female swimming dragons wear bikinis This is not something they developed themselves, oh no, it is something they nicked from humans. The dragons wanted to dress themselves in the latest fashion after all, and bikinis were all the rage. Going top-less, which they had done for ages and ages, was out, and bikinis were in. So... the dragon had gone to the shop for dragons (The ACME Dragon Wear to be preceise) and had bought herself a nice bikini. She went to the sea, and dove in.
*splush*
One very wet dragon. Yes. Wet. Yes. Yes, she was wet. Weeheeet. Yes. Wet yes. YES. WET. YES. No. No and no again. Why do you keep asking that? What are you, a perverted dragon-hugging druid or something? Zip it or I'll eat you too. Yes, eat. No, not with ketchup. Oh bother.
*slappety-slap-slap*
Owkee little human, now you sit still and listen to my story ok? The other two appearently did not want to. Soo... once upon a time there was this female yellow-polka-dot dragon or whatever, and she was swimming, and she wore a bikini, and the dam thing shrank because of the salt water or something because it was ACME-bought and everyone knows ACME only sells crap (ask Wiley E. Coyote, he knows ALL about it), and she was afraid to come out of the water. And that was that. Story ends. Yes. And now I'm hungry again. Dammit.
*snatch*
*burp*
Ya'all knew it was going to end this way anyway didn't ya?
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